Spawning

Spawning
A folk album
All words and music by Patrick Ripoll

1. Spawning

This won't end well
these things rarely do
I will get to attached
or you'll get too attached
or we'll find some other way to ruin
the beautiful friendship
that's now in bloom
you are stuck in my head
I keep humming your name
that lovely and haunting tune
when you are older
you will understand
things rarely work out
things rarely make sense
things rarely ever go as planned
So this is spawning
this is what they mean
we thrust ourselves in the air
but with bears everywhere
we won't all make it upstream

2. Smile

It's getting late and I'm pretty tired
so I'll grant you one last lullabye
before I kiss you good night and sneak out the back door
I swear to God and all his friends
I hope the courtship never ends
this has always been my favorite part every time before

I've got, well, not a lot
and there ain't enough food for thought
to help me fight off this hunger
But it don't matter how you've lived
And they'll always say you're just a kid
well I'm one too, I've just been one a little bit longer

And when you smile
I figure that I'm better off alive
My life is running wild
But I suppose I must be doing something right

Back in March when we first met
I would have wagered, lost the bet
that you could never feel for me how I feel for you
But fortune's funny, fate as well
Regardless of what the stars may tell
You kinda sorta liked me, and I kinda sorta liked you too

And when you meet someone who makes you glow
you wanna tell everyone you know
but 4 years is a long time so I gotta use care
Cuz even though we're on the same page
Underage is underage
and undercover cops could be hiding anywhere

And when my mom asks
I tell her you're 18, and only just a friend
I'm not embarressed, of you,
I just don't want to see your smile end

It's been much too long
since I felt this way
It's been much too much too long
since I felt this way
Some things you can't ignore
Some things you want to stay
It's been much too much too long
since I felt this way

So if you're game, than so am I
lets see how far this thing can fly
before we have to crash or land into the Baltic Sea
Cuz a successful pilot I am not
but I got faith and that's a lot
I'm sure Amelia Earhardt would agree with me

And when it's the time
for us to go back to being you and I
I promise I won't cry if you promise you won't cry
we'll be alright, and at least we gave it a try

3. Except You

I don't know anybody who likes Woody Allen as much as me
except you
I don't know anybody who loves that Stuttering Stanley line in sixth sense like I do
except you
I don't know anybody who can make me melt with her smile
except you
I don't know anybody who would get excited about seeing James Spader fuck a woman's leg
except you
I don't know anybody who could make a me a mix CD where I like every single song
except you
I don't know anybody who shares my appreciation for Go-Go's music videos
except you
I don't know anybody who appreciates insides jokes they aren't a part of
except you
I don't know anybody who can sing in a quasi-Shelby Sifers voice
except you (and Shelby of course)

I don't know anybody quite like you
I don't know anybody quite like you
You're one of a kind
If you were a poker hand, you'd be a terrible hand
But you're not a poker hand, you're my friend
You're my very best friend

4. The Movies Lied

The movies lied
about high school
none of the cheerleaders
were remotely attractive
when the kids picked on me
I didn't go psychoactive
and set fire, fire, fire
to the prom

The movies lied
about love
It's not some supernatural passion
that never ever dies
it's all a power struggle
Give and take, comprimise
and feeling comfortable enough to admit
that you're bored

The movies lied
about violence
there's no glamorous slow motion
like a brutal ballet
it's just two frustrated people
who have run out of things to say
A refusal to acknowledge the fact
that they're both lost

The movies lied
about family
it's not a predestined group of friends
together til the end of days
You just share a house, a past,
some strands of DNA
that's all
the rest is up to you

The movies lied
about sex
it's not some super serious ritual
that connects body and spirit
it's funny and it's awkward
and it's ok to laugh if you feel it
I know I do, every fuckin' time

The movies lied
about your parents
they're not some out-of-touch gestapo
out to kill your good time
they're just scared because they love you
and they wanna know you're fine
so fer chrissakes call 'em, let 'em know
when you're getting home late

The movies lied
about acid
you don't freak out, chasing
tiny snakes and alligators
you just have the most brilliant ideas
you can't comprehend 12 hours later
but I highly reccomend it to everyone here

The movies lied
about life
Things happen without reason
logic or purpose
but it sure as hell beats nothing
so remember that it's worth it
Lighten up, enjoy yourself
it's not hard to do, just hard to try
And don't be too upset
when you find out the movies lied

5. Another Fucking Titanic Song

This is it, the ship is sinking
the hull capsized, the captain's drinking
I regret to inform you there are no lifeboats
We ran out of those a long time ago
And the band will keep playing long as they're on board
til they reach that final gurgling chord
Before I slip on the deck and sever my spine
I wanna tell ya I love ya one last useless time
time, l'chiehem
to life, to life, l'chihem
and we sing, l'chiehem
to life, to life, to life

I know I once said I don't like metaphors
especially ones heard a thousand times before
but I'm more than happy to be cliche
to avoid the more painful things I could say
I fucked us both over big time
There I said it
I already regret it

goodbye, goodbye, l'chiehem
to life, to life, l'chiehem
and we sing, l'chiehem
to life, to life, to life

6. Jason Voorhees, Working Class Hero

Who are
these
happy kids
having sex
and
smoking dope
Living in
an eternal summer

get em
kill em
thanks dear friend

Life always
seems like
a comedy
Kid, don't you know
your time is almost up
tragedy is waiting
in the rafters of the barn

with a hockey mask
and a machete,
gonna cut you up!

You say
it's for
your mother
Whatever helps you
sleep, my man
We all knew those
fucking yuppies

Had it coming
they had it coming

If I can't be happy
why should anyone else be happy
I drowned at summer camp
and now you're going down with me

7. Bubble of Tar

I feel like I am trapped
inside a thick and black
bubble of tar

I can't breathe
I can't breathe
I know where you are

And I hope the garbage
fills up this room
I hope I rot here
I hope it's soon
I hope I never see you again

8. Coward

Are you still calling?
I'm no longer listening
To logic or reason
I cannot heed them
their sound advice

Popping preganant pauses
no matter the causes
I wish it was August
When it was August
Life seemed so nice

Chorus:
I apologize,
I'm a liar or a coward
I am on the floor of the shower
I've been sitting here for hours

And you have saved my life
On more than one occasion
It's remarkable, your patience,
When I am splattered on the pavement

Rotten with excuses
I tie my own nooses
You know what abuse is
this abuse is what I love best

Lashing out at my lovers
Breaking up my brothers
Aggrevate another
my mother says I am blessed

Well, I apologize
I'm a liar and a coward
I am on the floor of the shower
and I've been sitting here for hours

and you have saved my life
on more than one occasion
it's remarkable your patience
when I am splattered on the pavement

9. Nervous Laughter

The other day when I was going to the bathroom
I heard a strange noise sounded like buzzing and clicking
it was a fly, attacking the mirror
bombing it like he wanted to rid the world of his reflection
eventually he got his wish
he beat his image to death
I thought of you and I just had to laugh

The other night, around 1, I was riding the L
a guy with his finger in his jacket it was pointed right at me
He said he wasn't playing, to give him all my money
But I didn't think the gun was real, told him my wallet was empty
he grinned, and sat beside me
acted like we were always friends
I thought of you and I just had to laugh

When you act like this
I don't know what you're after
I start to shuffle my feet
oh boy, here comes all that nervous laughter
la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-laughter
la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-laughter

That time last month, when I went to see you play that house show
you sang all those songs that you said you wrote about me
My cheeks flushed deep red, cuz I knew that you loved me
Despite how he acts, that boy really does miss me
Then you spent the rest of the night
flirting with this other girl you liked
I tried my best, but I couldn't laugh that off

When you act like this
I don't know what you're after
I start to shuffle my feet
oh boy, here comes all that nervous laughter
la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-laughter
la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-laughter
such a de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-diaster
la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-laughter

10. Spawning (Reprise)

Goddammit baby, I love you
But love don't conquer all
This is not a fucking Disney movie
You are not the Belle of the ball
and this here Beast
won't turn into a prince
He's just an animal with blood on his teeth
and if you're still not convinced
take a look at my home
it's in fucking tatters
My parents treat me like the criminal I am
I just pretend that it doesn't matter
but it does
this is my fucking house
I feel like a prisoner with 3 life sentences
no parole, no chance to get out,
it's like my darkest fear
suddenly turned true
so yeah, I love you, and you love me,
but I'm foolish and so are you
When you leave her behind
and she starts screaming
tell her that you're sorry
just don't let her know you mean it
give her a chance to hate you
let her blow off some steam
Otherwise this cycle may never end
and you'll be eternally walking upstream
So this is spawning
this is what they mean
we thrust ourselves in the air but with bears everywhere
we won't all make it upstream
Some of us will die

11. Jenny

sweat drips down
Jenny's brow
Don't look now, you will can see my heartbeat
through my chest

fingertips
gentle kiss
we'll have this for a couple more hours
we make it count

Jennifer, remember me
as I remember you
a body in a body on a mattress on a planet
that is circled by the moon

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