The Shambolic Fuzz-Pop ExtraOrdinary

1. Twinkle Town Morning/Wake Up 3:55

You wait so incontestable,
You wait for me.

And I’m finally sick and tired of always making space,
Stare into space for me.

Leave Me Be.

Written as the supposed opening track of 'Heaton Chapel: The Musical' A concept album I was writing about my home town.

2. Best Damn Thing Ever 1:35

It definitely was to me at the time, and probably still is. Was abandoned as an instrumental during one of my chronic shy phases. Was meant to have an epic "go...go...GO-GO-GO!" chorus, that I thought-up in the freezer section of a cheapo supermarket. One of the last songs I wrote for the album, and probably the best one here.

3.Don’t Work/Cat-A-Wall 6:14

I saw you there,
You took the time to find a way to me talk to you,

But it don’t work for me anymore.

You know I’m here,
You fucked some guy to find a lay cos I wont talk to you

So it don’t work for me anymore.

You saw me here,
You took some time to find a way and now I crawl for you

But don’t work for me anymore……….

Oh, the dog-shit bin is overflowin',
And I ain’t goin' to take no shit from you.

The shit-stained leper cast a wistful eye,
At Curtis Mayfield singing SUPERFLY, oh no!!

Permanent Emily sent me to hell,
In a handbasket down the wishing well,
I’ve fallen out of love with myself.

I can feel in your eyes,
I conceal myself under sunny skies,

But I can feel in your eyes.

Alpha Male Romeo sings Beta Block N Roll,
My sparrow heart is overwrought by her Audrey Hepburn soul.

I’m going somewhere else but I’ll be there for you,
Just as sure as railway stations have their orthodox Jew.

39 omelettes from just one pan?
Don’t look at me I'm the pancake-man.

'Don't Work' was one of the first songs I ever wrote completely on the fly, while singing out loud while drunk in the kitchen of a friend's house I was 'sitting'. It has a corny sentiment, but I meant it. Cat A Wall. Get it? This song was recorded in my garden at night, while a cat was horny and hollering on a fence a couple of streets away, while the wind whooshed though the trees. It's about how I got demon-cum throbbing through the veins in my temples over a Swedish girl.

That's my Dad locking me out at the end.

4.Pepper 3:16

You don’t choose your muse,
Your muse chews you,
Up and spits you out.

The streets conclusions promise cars,
10,000 magpies seem to swan to where you are.

The days concussions promise stars,
Twinkle-twinkle, how I wonder why you aren’t
With me.

Pepper,
Bundled up in snow
Pepper Please don’t goes.

Pepper you’ve been gone before

Cat paws on linoleum floors.

Pepper was always meant to be the centre piece of the record. I had this song instrumentally in mind for years. It was too precious to begin to think how to put lyrics to. But I knew the 'Pepper'calling chorus was in there. This song is about a cat I had when I was a kid in Heaton Chapel, that ran away. The vocal melody on the chorus of the 'Pepper' calls are the way we used to call the cat home. The production is pretty poor, I hope you can hear what I do.

5.Telephony 2:04

I missed the boat I set afloat,
I second the notion I set in motion.

But you cant see.
You're fucking-nuts instead of loving me.

Got broken heart and VCR.
I'm treated better by your memory than who you really are.

And you don’t change,
Your differents are really all the same.

What cat-man do

Dog-woman don’t.

Bitch.

I originally just wrote the intro on keyboard while I was dicking around with the various novelty settings. I had that stored away on a minidisc for about a year, before I came up with the rest of the song in about an hour. I was listening to alot of 'My Bloody Valentine' at the time, which I think you can tell by the chorus. I think it sounds abit like 'Sometimes'.

6.Babystaples 2:26

Will you be gone,
Or still here,
When you find-out about my gonorrhea?

And Im living apart from you.

The sparrow takes a dirt-bath
The sparrow takes a bird-bath.

I came to you for applause,
But the clap was all there was.

And Im living apart from you.

Insects in the toilet,
Give someone-elses dog a haircut.
I rescue insects from the toilet,
Give someone-elses dog a haircut.

This is another one that I had the first part to, for a long time. I was sleeping with this complete psychic-nightmare, spoiled girl at the time, and I thought I had an STD. But it just turned out I had been drinking too much, and washing my underwear with too much biological powder...My Dad had gone to Australia, and I'm not au fait with the washing machine.

I've never given someone else's dog a haircut, but I do rescue insects from the toilet. It makes me feel like there's the possibility of a God.

7.O.D.(e) To The Attempted Suicide Girl 2:18

Pack my disaster-bags and head for trouble,
Cashing in my misery-chips from gambles that have gone amiss,
Shaving my relationship stubble.

Hammer like a chocolate auction on a hot summers day,
Picking up my winnings from affections placed-astray.

Have a nice life, and thanks for fucking-up mine,
Fuck-off and die, and get it right this time.

The memories are messages this side of the mirror,
Those 50 paracetamol just made you a bit thinner.
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

Hoo.

Have a nice life and thanks for fucking up mine,
Have a nice life and fuck off and die this time.

From the kitchen sessions of my best friends' house. Pretty much improvised. Pretty self-explanatory. Emphasis on the 'attempted'...and a pretty poor attempt at that.

8.The Me Theme 3:01

We locked,
Ourselves away from zombies,
in the loft.
Before,
Anyone could notice we had gone.

On Weekends,
All your friends exacted their revenge,
With postcards,
Written-out with cancer-charity pens.

Sirens shattered the blackbirds,
Screaming into the sky,
In the hour it took the sun to die.

Freebasing on ebay,
Beat the click of the traps,
Grow black hair on the chrome of your car,
Kick the proverbial cat,
Rorschach-test ripped butterflies in baptised skin-mags.

Included to make up the numbers/running time. I'm not including it here. I hate this song now. I like it musically, but as a finished product it just screams out "CHEESE!"

9.Beach Pixie 60 Doo Wop 1:28

I must sound awful amazing,
To carry on trying to hide this happy
Memory's perversion from the reason why I needed to talk to you.

You're the perfect thing that I need,
To keep up this wretched sleeve of mine,
But how could I spare a thought,
If I couldn’t give a fuck?

I've got the whole of tomorrow,
But none of today to accomplish all the,
Things I'm too scared to say,
God gave me this day to piss-away.

Insurmountable object,
Undeniable truth,
I accidentally lost his Hoth Han Solo,
He threw my Jedi-Luke on the roof.

Everyones a little like someone else,
And I'm right down there with em
Like the penultimate page in an unfinished book,
Or my pants without me in em.

I must sound awful amazing
to carry on trying to hide this happy
memory's perversion from the reason why I needed you.

An early song. Some of the lyrics were culled from when my best friend and I were channel surfing and writing down the results. The Star Wars figures thing happened to me in school, and had a pretty profound effect on me. The title comes from how it sounds like 60's surf music, via Pixies.

10.GoOn 3:23

When you woke-up in the morning you were totally alone
And youre dying in Hawaii and youd rather be at home
Well, I swear I never wanted to see you at the cold-end of the hall
On the public telephone calling mummy saying

I never loved you at all

Still, there seems to be some sad kind of hope in this final chord-change.

Please remember to turn-off your mobile phone,
Forever
And embark upon your hearts-desired sole endeavor
Pull the thorn from the exclusion zone in your most useful paw
Breathing deeply from the fear pumped through your heart and mind
Take a step out the door

Even in the face of such bizarre adversity

You can laugh at them all

Its hard to carry on knowing everythings been done before
And your dreams can be attributed to youth, and nothing more
She looks upon you so pure, and you treat her like a whore
While Im walking around and being ignored by automatic doors

Well, Id like to burn the face off-of Jesus and reveal the skull underneath.

When I met you everything was too-good-to-be-true.

Ambulances knocking people down for something to do.

Go on, you goon. I really agonise over this song. I find it hard to listen to, as I think I sound totally goof ball. But the fact I actually felt that way and honestly meant what I was saying made me include it. And I still stand by it. I think the 'dying in Hawaii' line is about Brian Wilson with Dr Landy.

11.E.I.I.R (Everythings Industrious In Rain) 3:07

I personally love the music. It doesn't really go anywhere, but I don't think it needs to. Again, I couldn't get the production to do it justice, the same as I feel about Pepper, but it speaks for itself. The title came from a dream I had about a kid who wrote an incredible, earth-shattering essay at school that got totally dismissed by his teacher. I was an independent observer and knew how amazing it was, and the ramifications it had for humankind, but was powerless to do anything but bear witness to the tragic waste of it. Then I saw fighter jets skipping across rainy rooftops away from me.